I’ve been a professional matchmaker for eleven years, and I have interviewed over 10,000 people about their dating histories and relationship endeavors.
Owning one of the most respected matchmaking firms in the country, you end up working and representing people of diverse backgrounds – culturally, socio-economically, and even politically.
As one of the few matchmakers that actually happens to be Greek, I attract many Greek singles every week into my service. I also have a Masters in Global Affairs & Economics, which may explain why more than half my clientele either works at the UN or a hedge fund. Go figure!
Nonetheless, every month, I interview Greek ladies all looking for one thing: a Greek man.
Beautiful, smart, exceptional Greek women come to me, and they tell me that they ONLY want to date Greek, even if it means they have to freeze their eggs as they hold out for the perfect Greek man. I find this crazy. They’re putting Greek sperm on a pedestal!
Below are the three misconceptions about Greek sperm that sabotage Greek women from the perfect man and their happily ever after.
1) Greek sperm holds magical powers.
Ask someone why they want to date Greek (in the Diaspora), and they’ll say one of two answers, if not both: “They will have the same family values as me!” and “I hate having to explain Greek culture quirks all the time.” What I hear? Greek sperm is magic! It has the power to make babies that will be embraced with family orientedness, a complicated family structure of love, and dyed red eggs around a lamb spit.
I’m not sure why some people believe that Greek culture has the monopoly on family values. There are plenty of Southern European and even Middle Eastern cultures that resemble the Greek family dynamic. My uncle re-married a Lebanese woman, who’s Orthodox Christian too, and excluding the fact that my life has more hummus and pistachios than before, you would think she was Greek! Her family is loud and loving. We even belly danced at their wedding to music I could have sworn was Greek, but instead Arabic. I felt right at home!
Our Greek culture quirks like cracking red eggs and lamb spits at Easter, our relationship with the “koinotita” or our local Greek community, the absolute need to go to Greece every summer, our non-negotiable stance on our future children to go to Greek school and Greek Dance and GOYA… (I could go on. We are a weird bunch!) Anyway, all of these conversations happen once. That’s it. Welcome to an adult relationship. Even non-Greeks can be attentive when you speak about things you are passionate about. Unless you’re bringing up these topics in a defensive manner, chances are that a man who dates a Greek woman is probably going to be absolutely fine with embracing these kind of passions that give a sense of community.
There are countless men out there just absolutely ready to love a Greek woman and become Philhellenes. Did the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” teach you nothing!? Ian got baptized for Toula! You, too, can find an Ian!
2) Greek sperm is ready and able to fertilize you!
Look, if you really, really, really want to have kids, and you’re over 35, and you’re STILL holding out for the perfect Greek man with his Greek sperm, you’re going to need to re-think your strategy. If you’re dead set on it, just move to Greece! At least anyone you date there will likely, by default, be Greek!
However, if you’re inching towards your late 30’s, you need to become WAY more open minded on your Greek preference. What’s the point of looking for Greek sperm if you don’t have access to it, or worse – when you do, you can’t even use it?
“Shut up, Maria. I’m 38. I still have years left!” Maybe. However, in my professional matchmaking experience, a whole lot of men in their late 30s and early 40s don’t want to meet women over 35. All I’m saying is – be open minded! Don’t expect others to be.
3) All Greek sperm is GREAT sperm.
It’s not, and I say this as someone who married a Greek man. I was open minded during my single years. I dated a German guy, an Irish guy, and a British guy before him, so falling in love with a Greek man was shocking to my friends and my parents. I feel very lucky to be with the man I am with, not because he’s Greek, but because he’s thoughtful, smart, dependable, caring, and attentive.
If it sounds like I’m bragging, it’s because I sort of am. He had everything I was looking for as the future father of my children; children that would have ended up in Greek school and Greek Dance and GOYA and summers in Greece because they’d have me as their mother, regardless of who I picked as a father for them.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is this: Just because a man is Greek doesn’t mean he is going to be a great boyfriend, a great husband, or a great father to your kids. I have met countless women in the last decade dead set on finding a Greek man that they completely ignore all the red flags on display of shitty character and lack of integrity because they want that Greek sperm. Some end up divorced, others in loveless marriages.
If you date the person for their character, with your ovaries in mind, you’ll pick a better life partner. If fate should have it, he may be Greek too. It’s not the end of the world if he’s not, because… you’ll be happy! You’ve met the perfect man for you. (Screw your parents’ overbearing/crazy expectations.) If you choose right, he’ll learn to break plates like the rest of us.
About the author
Maria Avgitidis is an award winning matchmaker with a global reputation. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. As the Founder of Agape Match, Maria combines strong intuition with matchmaking methodology to leverage each client’s unique Attachment Style and preferred Love Language. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in the press worldwide, including in; The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist. Maria’s academic pedigree includes a Master’s Degree in Global Affairs and Economics and a Bachelor’s Degree in International Business and European Affairs. Maria has truly transformed matchmaking utilizing behavioral science and the unique know-how gained through four generations of matchmaking success.
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13 comments
Good article, and very true! I married a wonderful non-Greek man, and now he loves Greece and all things Greek almost as much as I do. He’s champing at the bit to travel there again this year! If you can’t marry ’em, you might be able to convert ’em!
2 Greeks meet anywhere on earth and instantly they’re friends. This comes from uniquely Greek characteristics we share called Philotimo and Philoxenia. These characteristics are derived from culture and the language which’s bonds us.
The relationship between language and culture is deeply rooted. Language is used to maintain and convey culture and cultural ties. Different ideas stem from differing language use within one’s culture and the whole intertwining of these relationships start at one’s birth.
When an infant is born, it is not unlike any other infant born, in fact, quite similar. It is not until the child is exposed to their surroundings that they become individuals in and of their cultural group. This idea, which describes all people as similar at birth, has been around for thousands of years and was discussed by Confucius as recorded in the book by his followers, Analects (Xu, 1997). From birth, the child’s life, opinions, and language are shaped by what it comes in contact with. Brooks (1968) argues that physically and mentally everyone is the same, while the interactions between persons or groups vary widely from place to place. Patterns which emerge from these group behaviours and interactions will be approved of, or disapproved of. Behaviours which are acceptable will vary from location to location (Brooks, 1968) thus forming the basis of different cultures. It is from these differences that one’s view of the world is formed. Hantrais (1989) puts forth the idea that culture is the beliefs and practices governing the life of a society for which a particular language is the vehicle of expression. Therefore, everyone’s views are dependent on the culture which has influenced them, as well as being described using the language which has been shaped by that culture. The understanding of a culture and its people can be enhanced by the knowledge of their language. This brings us to an interesting point brought up by Emmitt and Pollock (1997), who argue that even though people are brought up under similar behavioural backgrounds or cultural situations but however speak different languages, their world view may be very different. As Sapir-Whorf argues, different thoughts are brought about by the use of different forms of language. One is limited by the language used to express one’s ideas. Different languages will create different limitations, therefore a people who share a culture but speak different languages, will have different world views. Still, language is rooted in culture and culture is reflected and passed on by language from one generation to the next (Emmitt & Pollock 1997).
Evident by link between languages and culture, it’s no wonder Greek women demand a link to Greek men. Greek women seek the comfort of cultural that can only come went sharing an Easter celebration with her future in-laws family, who without ever knowing them, share our unique characteristics of Philotimo and Philoxenia.
Greek women are very selective when finding the perfect Greek man!! The sexual mores in Greece need to be looked at closely. You can’t have everything searching the perfect partner?
A Greek Man. By far … is not a perfect man. Nobody is . Just go with your instincts.
This is how you promote Greek culture and the continuity of Greeks as a whole? Encouraging mixed marriage? That will eventually water down the Greeks as a whole and we will eventually become extinct. Just like so many other cultures in the USA. As s Greek shame on you!!
Where is the Love?? What about looking at population numbers. Is there really one GREEK hetrosexual man for every GREEK hetrosexual female. Is this why interracial marriages exist in the first place? I believe Greece is signing the alarm that there is a low GREEK baby birth rate at this time. Do we go back to arranged marriages to try and save the GREEK ethnicity? It is a lot to consider when trying to find your GREEK PRINCE CHARMING….
Hey, so if you need greek men, I am willing to help ?
In ancient Greek the philosophers said that Greeks marrying non Greeks are considered traitors and exiled. Well one has to be educated to know that which most Greeks are not. Does the authors think she knows better than the great philosophers?
Even this site has articles showing what the downfall of mix marriage has done to the family, church, community, nations. Some might even say that racist since what if every Greek did what she said then their would be no Greeks to have a genocide of them to wipe them out. Greeks are the minority of the minority and so many towns that had Greek communities vanished and no more Greek parades and churches close. The majority of mix marriages tend to leave the faith and if they still are its very weak. Sure their are exceptions as always but the odds are against them. Converts don’t convert so well in the end the church statistics admit time and time again. As they say only a insane person does the same things expecting different.
Lets say she is right then what will the kids marry? non Greek as well since what is good for the parents is good for the kids and then the future generations will no be Greek if they are 9/10 something else etc.
In short Women don’t know their role and so men wont know their role. Gold wants to act like platinum and platinum wants to act like gold wont maybe things go far.
If women want to get married they should act like women and not have it their delusional ways which will turn bad in the end. Just like a person that eats junk food should not ask the dr for pills to keep eating junk food while getting worse. Encouraging bad only makes things worse. Women want to keep working when 40 and by that time it is much harder to have kids and many do not seem to understand they are not immoral which is best to have kids before 30 or 35 at most for better odds.
So many Good men can not find good women yet telling the women to look the other way for profit and encouraging delusion doesn’t help anyone in the long run. More good men than good women. Women can not even have a white wedding in how they act. Greek women in Greece love tattoos more than men and face piercing which both are a turn off to good men. Lack of quality women are the problem despite all think they are #1 in their own heads. Good and moral men with jobs like Theologian professors, Engineers, can not find even a half decent women. Maybe those Greek women should find someone else non Greek since they have gone far the logical ways.
The Ottomans could not wipe Greeks out of existence but don’t worry the Greeks are wiping themselves out of existence just fine. To be gone like the dodo bird since so many act like bird brains.
This is also a matter of economics for the writer. If her population of available women is selective exclusively to greek men (can’t blame them), and her male clientS have diverse backgrounds then she’s limited by her resources.
I always saw: if you want the truth, follow the money!
90% of women eggs gone by age 30, 97% by age 40 as well as quality
in ancient greeks they call women like that traitors
in ancient Greece they call women like that traitors and were exiled if they married outsiders since it destroyed language, history, tradition, culture, religion, family, etc
Even this site admits that mix marriages dont work.
match makers meant to “match” and not not mixed up to “not match”.
Also this site can not handle fats which erases them. Freedom of speech is for to find truth and when one side is presented then you know its trying to push something and knows it can not argue against the other side. In other words its a weak argument.
But everyone has an opinion.
Greek men are greedy, ugly, self centered, complexed, very needy and average lovers and have zero romance or at least they are not any better than anyone else
I am not married to a Greek man thank God I married an Iranian
Greek men are not capable to make a woman happy but rather depressed and lonely most Greek women with Greek men are not happy and feel neglected and lonely and dissatisfied
Most Greek women don’t love their Greek husbands not the ones I know and there are many sad marriages
And many are trapped and cannot divorce
Greek women are great mothers but Greek men are horrible fathers and partners
That is my personal experience